Ideas for Coping with Separation from Grandkids

If you are like me you have struggled as a grandma this year thanks to the pandemic. Every day has been hard but this holiday season is the hardest.

I am a grandma to three granddaughters, two born this year during the pandemic.  It has been hard.  The joy of having two new babies to love has been squashed by my fear of contracting or spreading the coronavirus.  My contacts with new granddaughters have been minimal, and this was not at all how I wanted to spend my first year with them.

The impact on their parents has been unfortunate as well.  I haven't been as available as I would have liked to ease the challenge of welcoming new babies into their homes.  Overnight visits from my three-year-old granddaughter were reduced and recently, eliminated. I have been reluctant to babysit or even visit in-person with family.  It pains me.

I know some of you don't share my fears.  I know some of you are refusing to let a virus curb your interactions with family. I know some of you traveled for Thanksgiving and plan to do the same for Christmas. This post is not for you.

For those of you feeling the struggle, it may help to know you are not alone. "Luckily, first reports on loneliness during the pandemic show that older adults have been resilient to loneliness, with an increase during first stages of social distancing, but leveling through stricter stay-at-home orders." source

How To Stay Connected

Technology

We have embraced technology in a big way.  Video visits have become a daily activity.  In general, our visits have been unscheduled and at the convenience of my children.  Rather than referring to them as calls, I would characterize them as invitations from my kids to spend time in their homes.  The video is on and real-life continues.  There is no pressure to have a meaningful conversation.  We chat, we watch dinner being made, and we catch special moments with our granddaughters.  I look forward to these visits.

I'm grateful that through these video visits I have been able to see the new babies grow, to see them work on rolling over and eventually make that first rollover.  I've watched them become aware of their hands and feet and then be able to grab and hold their toys.  I've watched them eat their first mouthful of rice cereal and banana.

I'm grateful to have watched my three-year-old granddaughter tell me jokes, sing me songs, tell me stories about dinosaurs, show me her new, pink bedroom and her dance of the day.

When not visiting by video, pictures and video clips have brought many smiles.  I'm grateful my kids have been good about sending frequent pictures and videos.

Read: Grandparents struggle with not seeing grandchildren during pandemic

Outdoor Visits

Until recently, we have managed to visit in-person, weather permitting.  Thankfully, I've been able to hold my new granddaughters a few times during those outdoor visits. Thanksgiving was a washout so PaPa and I were alone with our 21-pound turkey.  

Life in New England doesn't permit much outdoor visiting from December through March but I'm certain there will be opportunities.  If you are lucky to live within a drivable distance to your grandkids you'll want to keep your eyes on the weather outlook so you can seize on opportunities for a quick outdoor visit.  

Coping Tactics

Keeping Busy

One tactic that has helped me cope with limiting my natural grandparenting instincts is keeping busy.  I have been learning to paint with watercolors and how to use art journals for self-growth. I found a company online that offers art kits and online tutorials that are engaging. I've painted pictures for my granddaughters' bedrooms and created a book of watercolor illustrations with original poems for my three-year-old granddaughter.

I've also expanded my art into art journaling with the help of Quirky Journalers Art Club. There are no rules or limits in art journaling so it really encourages personal creativity.

Knitting and Crocheting

This might be a good time to dust off your knitting or crocheting needles.  I do both.  Making something special for your grandkids may help you manage your disappointment in not seeing them as frequently as usual.

In my family, we have a tradition of using hand-knitted Christmas stockings. My mom started this tradition and I have taken on the responsibility of knitting the stockings.  This year I had two to knit for my granddaughters. They both got a Rudolph stocking.

Hats and mittens for your grandkids will be needed this year.  Here is a free, quick pattern for a cute hat I recently crocheted for my baby granddaughters.

Baking

If you love cooking you know Grandma's treats are always welcome.  Why not bake some cookies for delivery, either by a surprise drop off or mail? I recently made these two favorites for delivery to my family.  

These yummy gingersnaps are a family favorite. Get the gingersnaps recipe.

The oreo truffle balls look festive and are loved by adults and kids. Get the Oreo Truffles recipe.

Do you have ideas to share?  I'd love to hear.