As a grandma, you are in good company. In a 2019 University Of
Michigan poll, fifty-four percent of adults age 50–80 identified themselves as
grandparents and most said they had grandchildren under the age of 18.
Sixty-four percent of the grandparents said they care for their
grandchildren at least monthly. Are you one of them?
Intuitively you know that you are important to the well-being of
your grandchildren. A 2008 Oxford study scientifically confirmed it. This
study, conducted in England and Wales, analyzed the responses of 1596 eleven
to sixteen-year-olds and in-depth interviews with forty children.
The Oxford Study Findings
Grandparents have
more time than working parents to support children in
their activities.
Grandparents are available to
talk with children about problems they may be having and were important
in weathering negative life events like parents separating.
Maternal
grandmothers often
provide significant levels of child care.
The
children welcomed the involvement of their grandparents. They did not
view physical proximity as important because technology made access easier. The
frequency of contact and the health of the grandparents were important
influencing factors.
What Does It Mean for Grandmas?
To me, the most important finding is that
we have the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of our
grandchildren. Grandmas matter. I’m sad to say, I only had the opportunity to know one of my grandmothers and
while she passed away when I was in my late teens, I still hold the warmth of
her memory in my heart. She grounded me and showed me my roots.
In
contrast, my sons grew up with all four of their grandparents. We have lost
three of them in the past few years, but it gives me great comfort to know my
sons have many memories of them.
Secondly, I take comfort in the
finding that children from ages eleven to sixteen welcomed their grandparents in
their lives. Those can be challenging years for children and their parents.
Finally, kids said the frequency of contact was more important than
proximity. Thankfully, we do have technology that makes it easy for us to engage
meaningfully with our grandkids, even across the miles.
Hopefully,
this will give some comfort to all of us who are temporarily distanced from our
grandkids due to the pandemic and to the many grandmas who are separated from
their grandchildren by geography. Let’s not let this distance get in our way of
connecting. Remember, the frequency of contact is more important than the
distance in determining our effectiveness.
Here at Grandmas Making
Memories, we encourage frequent contact with grandkids, starting when your
grandchildren are babies. Video calls are your friend. Sing a song. Tell a
story. Make funny faces and sounds.
As grandkids grow your
opportunity to engage will grow, too. You’ll have more chances to teach, share
values, and to share your personal story.
This holiday season will
be a challenge for many of us. With a little creativity, you can still make it
memorable. We may find it hard to change things up a bit, but we can do it.
Let's start with a little silliness for Thanksgiving.
We've been
posting Thanksgiving jokes on
our Facebook page. Share those with your
grandkids.
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Tell a joke when they don't expect it during a video call.
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Print the joke from
our Facebook page. Write a little
note on it and put it in the mail. Kids love to get snail mail.
-
Print all of the jokes and staple them together into a little booklet.
Mail or give it to your grandkids with a little note written inside and a
memento of Thanksgiving 2020.
By now you probably know we love books at Grandmas Making Memories.
We also love that Amazon ships great books quickly to our grandkids. Here
are some Thanksgiving books you can send now. (affiliate links)
For One to Three-Year-Olds
A fun counting book.
For Three to Five-Year-Olds
An introduction to Thanksgiving.
For Five to Seven-Year-Olds
A turkey in disguise?
For Eight to Ten-Year-Olds
(A chapter book)
A trip back in time to 1691.
For Ten to Twelve-Year-Olds
A book of myths, lies, and secrets.
However you choose to connect with your grandkids for Thanksgiving, remember you matter.
